My take on last night's GOP debate (posted March 4, 2016)

My take on last night’s show starring The Short-Fingered Vulgarian, Little Marco, Lyin’ Ted and Governor Aw,Shucks.

I did love the Mondrian/Partridge Family stage backdrop. That was the best part.

The festivities opened with The Short-Fingered Vulgarian being pressured to disavow the KKK, which he did after some clarification. “I thought they said AAA. I like them. My car broke down once. They helped me out. Sent a nice guy - Tyrone. Of course I disavow the KKK.”

There was manly talk of manly anatomy among the candidates, led by the S-FV. And involving Jazz Hands for some reason. (As a theatre fan, I admit I was drawn to this.) Now, this has certainly happened before, and no doubt in multi-partisan fashion, but I believe this to be the first time on stage. On television. In a debate. For the presidency. Of the United States. Of America.

Megyn Kelly asked Lyin’ Ted – I’m paraphrasing a little here – “Why are you such a losing loser in this race?” LT responded – and I am NOT paraphrasing now: “Obama!”

The S-FV was boasting about a million-vote lead in some contest or other. He said “A million is a lot of votes.” It’s not a lot of dollars if you’re the S-FV, but it’s a lot of votes. I believe he added that he is also up in the polls by a million percent.

Fox News person Bret Baier seems to be working on the beginnings of a hair tribute to the S-FV. I don’t know if there are any equal time rules on something like that.

Governor Aw,Shucks said he was the normal one up on the stage, which is true, unless you look at his record or talk to right-thinking people in Ohio.

S-FV remains VERY concerned of the devaluing of currency in China and Mexico, which FORCES him to manufacture his Trump Ties in those places. I remain very concerned about the devaluing of the American presidency.

LT described his vision for the tax code, describing a lone man in the Treasury Department receiving the postcards on which Americans pay their tiny taxes. Or something.

S-FV was defending his 2008 contribution to HRC’s campaign by saying it was a business decision, and he owed it to his family, his business and his country to make good business decisions. I assume this extends to his decision(s) to exploit the system and declare bankruptcy. A lot.

S-FV was continually pressed on his changing views of everything (except his manly anatomy), to which he continually responded “Flexible. Believe me. Winning because flexible. And I was off the record, so flexible.” He further explained that the Mexican-financed border wall might be 45 feet, might be 50, because flexible. Or something.

S-FV was crowing about his endorsement from Sheriff Joe Arpaio, which got me to thinking about the string resemblance between the Sheriff and the Burgermeister Meisterburger. (See photos.)

For a little while, I had trouble concentrating, because I couldn’t stop picturing Megyn Kelly’s eyelashes on each of the candidates.

Little Marco commented that radical groups grow when they are given operating space. I agree with LM. Radical groups were given operating space in the GOP, and look where it has ended up!

S-FV was defending the extended use of torture, and added “We are starting this tonight and the subjects are the people watching this broadcast.”

S-FV was being pressed on his “flexible” views on Afghanistan and Iraq. He defended himself, saying “I thought you were asking if we should send afghans to Iraq. You know – blankets.”

It is a scientific fact that every time S-FV said “believe me” last night, an angel in heaven gauged out its eyeballs with a knitting needle.

S-FV pushed back on the revelation that Trump University was given a D- by the BBB. He said the rating was actually an A, and accused everyone there of not being flexible.

LM on Flint: “Heckuva job, Brownie!”

LT was asked why Detroit has fallen so far since the height of the auto industry. His answer was NOT because the right has done everything they can to break the back of labor over the last several decades.

There was a lot of talk of photography and gays. The one thing that was NOT addressed is what happens when a GAY photographer is asked to photograph a wedding between a man and a woman. I think this is important, because though it’s rare, sometimes gays go into the arts.

LT was asked about gays adopting kids, and he said that is a states’ rights issue. He said gay people in gay states can adopt gay kids and they’ll all end up in gay hell.

There was talk of Scalia and the Second Amendment, and maybe I got confused at that point, but I am PRETTY SURE someone suggested that the next Supreme ascend to his (yes, his) seat by winning a duel. (“Number 1: The challenge, demand satisfaction…)

S-FV gave credit for the creation of Obamacare to Justice John Roberts. This obfuscation of the facts is understandable, given his undoubtedly hurt feelings at the drubbing he got yesterday by Obamacare’s ACTUAL creator, Mitty Cent.

Right before the debate, I was asked “What’s the ONE word that won’t be uttered during this debate.” I said, “Yoga.” Boy, was I wrong!

There was some kind of exchange about the leadership ability of Kim Jong Un. I think it was led by Don Il Trump, but not sure.

S-FV was underscoring the idea that his support comes from unlikely places when he said, “Even with ISIS, my poll numbers are high.”

Ben Carson contributed as much to this debate as he did to the last one.

LT loudly proclaimed his support for first responders at the end, but it’s said that he muttered “except in collective bargaining” at the end.

The winner? NOT America!


2 responses
Trump exhibits many of the behavioral symptoms of the form of frontal lobe dementia that my father had. Self aggrandizement - he thinks he can do the job of POTUS; he is disinhibited sexually. Was most concerned about small hands and promised everyone we wouldn't be disappointed in his proportions. As the dementia progresses he will demonstrate what he means by that and whip it out. He has no sense of how he comes off to people- he lacks comportment. His behavior is not tailored to the situation he is in - and what a situation it is. Did you notice he way he stood at attention with his chin out and his eyes looking down his nose - as if he was Churchill reviewing the troops or a Commodore of the HMS Pinafore? I'm telling you I have seen Trump from time to time in person since I was 12 thru to 30. He was always an asshole but not like he is now. Look at the blank stare coming from his wife. Yes I know she never was known for her sense of presence but she looks more panic struck than Christie did the other night. They will come after him with a net very soon. Legitimately.
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