Last Night's Debatacle

Posted February 14, 2016

My wrap up of last night's GOP debate:

Overall, it was full of argle-bargle, jiggery-pokery AND applesauce.

The Somnambulist (Yes. He is still there.) says life expectancy wasn’t as long when the Constitution was written, urging we take a more actuarial approach to SCOTUS appointments. Fair point. To solve this, they could appoint a poor person. They don’t live as long.

Sen. Eddie Munster said the Senate will do all it can to see the next president make the SCOTUS appointment to replace Scalia. Translation: “We're not going to allow Barack Obama to do his job, just as we've been doing for years now.”

Jeb! also says “nucular.”

The moderator missed an opportunity when he made reference to “extremists operating in many countries,” but failed to reference extremists operating on that stage last night.

Jeb! told The Donald Grump that W kept us safe from terrorism after 9/11. In fairness, Grump kept us safe from Omarosa.

Robotio said "I thank God that it was Bush in the White House on 9/11 and not Al Gore." But it's not God he should have thanked. It's Rehnquist, Scalia, and Thomas, et al.

Robotio said that parenting is the most important job any of us (except the gays) will ever do.

Romneycare, also known as Hillarycare took a beating last night.

Grump again talked about his wall, but neglected to say how it would impact all of the Mexicans traveling BACK to Mexico, as documented in the recent Pew study that says more Mexican immigrants are leaving the U.S. than are entering. (Maybe he should consider some kind of one way doggie door.)

Sen. Munster had this memorable quote: “I will rescind every illegal executive order on the legalization of illegal illegals issued by illegal Barack Obama.” And he meant it.

Grump said he was not “in love with eminent domain.” Fair enough, but he’s certainly attempted to take it home for a one night stand every now and again.

Grump talked a lot about consensus. Given his style, I am not 100% sure he’s using the word correctly.

Robotio scored when he said that South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley was doing a better job curing poverty than President Obama. It was masterful pandering albeit pure, documented bullshit.

The Somnambulist, on the other hand, knows that it’s Wall Street regulators who are standing in the way of poverty eradication. He said that all we have to do to get rid of poverty, is get rid of the regulators.

There was much bickering about Grump’s bankruptcies and Jeb!’s fiscal management of Florida, which led me to think it was too bad that Jeb! could not declare bankruptcy for Florida as Grump could for Trumpida.

During GOP Debates, I need to stop posting on Twitter reminders about Ronald Reagan's role in the spread of AIDS, because it invariably leads to a Twitter troll who wants to make sure I know that he didn't invent AIDS. I do understand that. He merely allowed for its rapid spread.

I had taken a little cough medicine prior to the debate, so when Frank Underwood appeared on the TV, I thought through the haze it was a walk-on, which would have been the best incidence of product placement ever. I was disappointed when I figure out it was just a commercial.

Gov. Aw, shucks of Ohio had a lot of Stuart Smalley moments, but the most smalleyesque came when he told EVERYONE they're special, not realizing that if EVERYONE is special, no one is.

Robotio was right about America's reputation being in decline around the world IF the rest of the world is watching this debate.

Sen. Munster asked if America wanted "another Washington deal maker," but should have added "OR someone Washington deal makers can't stand."

 The winner of the debate? NOT America.

(Pictured: Mercy's take on last night's TV viewing.)